i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize