My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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