how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
