So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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