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Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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