I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
