one two three fourrrrnication!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
