I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
