Dual....:-)
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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