I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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