I didn't shave. On purpose
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
