We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
