I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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