my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
