I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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