I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
