I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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