Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
