There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
