I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
