I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
