dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we should paint friendship bongs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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