you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
