Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
