Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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