I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
