I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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