I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
