Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
