Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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