Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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