What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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