Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
