Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
