if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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