You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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