At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
