Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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