Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
