I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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