I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
