I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
