That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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