i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
