I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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