Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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