The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
