Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
