Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
