Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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