he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think a kid would responsible me up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
