you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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