My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
