How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My balls are so social today.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Randomize
