spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
