dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
God, I missed his penis.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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