Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
