She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
