Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Randomize
