Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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