Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
