Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
