stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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